


When You Love Someone Too Much

by orphan_account



Category: PDX, PDx101 - Fandom, VICTON (Band), producex101
Genre: Angst, Confession, Death, I dont know how to tag, Other, best friend - Freeform, choi byungchan - Freeform, i need to learn what angst is, i think, request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-07 17:49:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19856416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: You comfort a friend you hold dear and you confess your feelings for him but things don’t exactly turn out the way you wanted.





	When You Love Someone Too Much

I get out of the bathroom after a long shower. I sit down on the sofa, drying my hair with a towel in one hand and picking up my phone with the other. I scroll through Twitter when you receive a text message from Byungchan.

10:16 PM

Hey, you up?

Yeah. What’s up?

Can we talk?

I tilt my head at his response. Was something wrong? He wasn’t usually this serious if he just wanted to bother me whenever he was bored.

10:21 PM

Sure.

Is something wrong?

Do you want me to come over?

He still hasn’t read my messages and he wasn’t typing either which was weird since he usually texts back right away. My heart beats faster and i’m tapping my foot rapidly waiting for his reply. Did something happen? I flinch at the sound of someone knocking at the door.

I get up slowly to take a look at the peephole and see Byungchan with his head down. I quickly open the door and was about to nag at him for not replying to my texts when he grabs me and locks me in a tight hug.

I was ready to push him away from me when I hear him sniffle. He was definitely crying. I slowly remove his arms around you and take a good look at his face.

The first thing I noticed was his eyes. Of course, I could tell he was sad because his eyes were puffy from crying but I first noticed his eyes because it showed a different kind of sadness. The kind where it went down and tugged at your own feelings as well.

I cherish my best friend a lot. To the point that I would give everything even if everything I’ve given won’t have anything in return.

“Is something wrong?” I ask him with the calmest voice I could possibly muster. “Do you want to-“

“She broke up with me.” Byungchan cuts me off with a voice crack. It shattered my heart into a million pieces. How could someone as kind hearted as him have his heart broken by someone he held dear?

I give him a tight hug and caress his back, trying to reassure him he would be alright. Somebody was there for him and that somebody is me.

I make him sit on the small couch in my room and made him hot chocolate. Hot chocolate always made him feel better.

The boh of us sit there on the couch with him sipping on his hot chocolate and me observing him. “Aren’t you gonna ask why?” Byungchan asks out of nowhere.

“You won’t answer me anyways. I know you don’t really wanna talk about it. Let’s just stay silent and enjoy each other’s company.” He smiles at me and continues to sip from his cup.

Whenever this guy feels down, he won’t ever talk about it until he feels like it. He wants to be with someone that could comfort him just by staying there beside him.

Both of us started playing the hand-slap game to get his mind off of things. I hold my arms out with my palms down. He held his arms out as well but his hands were under mine and his palms were facing up. His goal was to slap the back of my hands as fast as he can before I could take my hands away.

It’s been a few minutes now and he still can’t get a hold of me. We were both laughing our asses off. We were both trying to focus after a couple of laughs. It’s been quite a while and he still hasn’t moved his hands.

I narrowed my eyes at him but he caught me off guard. He slapped my hands and held them firmly before I could cheat. We laughed at each other when we both realized he was holding my hands for too long. We both let go and inched away from each other.

We lay beside each other and watch my ceiling filled with glow in the dark stars. I hear him start to breathe heavily and when I glance at him he was trying his hardest not to cry again. I sit up against the pillows and whisper,

“Hey. It’s okay. You don’t have to hold it back.” I start stroking his hair to calm him down. He starts sniffing and I could see his cheeks glistening with tears. It hurts me to see his tear-stained cheeks and his puffy eyes. He doesn’t deserve any of this.

I was sorry I couldn’t hold him back to protect him from what he was going through right now. I was sorry because I couldn’t do much but just lay there beside him, calming him down.

“There are a lot of people other than her, anyways. With your good looks and everything, you’ll find another one soon enough.”

Yeah, even I’ve got the hots for you. Sucks to be me. Your best friend.

“You know, if I weren’t your best friend, I think we’d be great together.” I think out loud.

But you know what I was most sorry for? I was most sorry for the fact that I couldn’t tell him the truth. I was sorry I couldn’t tell him I had feelings for him.

“Thanks.” I face him and blink. “Hmm?”

“Thanks for always being there for me. It’s been long overdue but I still think I should say it.” There was a long silence in the air. We both didn’t say anything after that.

“I like you.” I said. I think this was the most inappropriate time to say it but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Not for long.

“No, I don’t like you, Byungchan. I love you.” Byungchan avoided my gaze and didn’t say anything.

“Heck, I’m sorry for telling you this right now when you’re going through something. It’s awful of me, I know. I’m sorry. You don’t have to-“

“It’s about time you said that.”  
I sit up again and look at him with furrowed brows. “You knew?”

“For quite a while now.” He replied with a cheeky smile on his face but still with puffy eyes. I push him with force almost strong enough to push him out of the bed but he held on to the covers. “And you didn’t tell me?” I glare at him playfully. He just chuckles at you.

“Well, aren’t you gonna say it back?” I was quite hopeful. Since he knows already, doesn’t that mean he might feel the same way?

“I don’t think so.” He smirks at me which made me punch his shoulder playfully. “Byungchan!”

“Hey, I’m kidding. You found your courage to say it. I’ll find mine to say it back soon.”

I roll my eyes at him and lay back down beside him, our hands intertwined. I wish this moment could just freeze.

-

I wake up to see Byungchan already up and ready to leave the room. “You’re awake?” Byungchan asks.

“Yeah.” I get up and start making my bed like it was before you both slept on it.

“Hey, thanks again for last night. And for every night whenever I’m going through something.”

“That’s no problem. Oh and I’m sorry for suddenly saying that to you. You must’ve felt awkward.” I look down and scratch my face.

“You didn’t say anything to me last night.” Byungchan answers, with a tone of confusion hinting in his voice.

“What do you mean I didn’t say anything? I clearly said that I-“

“After I thanked you, you didn’t say anything. So when I sat up to look at you, you were already fast asleep.” He adjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder.

“Wha- Now I’m just super confused.” I scratch my head. I’m confident that I did tell him you liked him. But it all seemed like I didn’t.

“Whatever it is that you told me, it was probably in your dreams or something.” He grins at me and checked his watch.

“Shoot! I have to go now. Thanks so much. I’ll text you later!” Byungchan dashes out of the door, bumping into one of the tables near the stairs. He sighed as he arrived at the ground floor. His conscience was eating him up.

I couldn’t quite make out whether it was a dream or not. Maybe I did fall asleep and all of that was some fantastic dream I wanted to come true.

Maybe it was true and that was Byungchan indirectly rejecting me because he thought of me only as his best friend and nothing more.

-

It’s been two days since I last saw him. I couldn’t face him with the thought that I might actually have confessed and he rejected you.

He’s been spamming me with messages and voicemails but I keep leaving him on read and I still haven’t checked my voicemail inbox.

I was walking back to my dorm after classes when I receive a call from Byungchan. I thought it was about time I start talking to him again.

“He-“

“Hi dear, it’s Byungchan’s mom. We’re at the hospital right now. Can you come over?” Mrs. Choi said with shaky voice.

“Is something wrong?”

“It’s Byungchan.”

I rush to get there with my heart almost about to jump out of my chest. I was breathing heavily, panicked.

I finally get to Room 216 and I take a deep breathe before knocking and going in. I could see Byungchan on the bed with plasters on his head and he was being intubated.

Mrs. Choi approaches me and gave me a tight hug. I could feel my sleeves getting wet.

“H-he got into an accident and the doctor said his brain was swelling due to the bleeding. They said they did anything they could but Byungchan, he,” She started tearing up again and I myself could not hold back from crying as well.

“He’s now in a coma for at least a few months. There may be also a risk of amnesia. But the doctor said we should concern ourselves with him waking up soon.”

I couldn’t hold back anymore. Both of us broke down right there in front of Byungchan who seems to just be sleeping.

We both let go of the hug and I approach Byungchan. I sit in front of him and hold his hand. It was cold.

“I’m sorry. I failed you again. I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry.” I cried. All I could do was cry and be sorry. I hated myself for not being able to be there for him.

I would do anything for us to switch positions. I’d do anything to be the one laying there intubated. I gripped his hand and it hurt me to have no response.

I went out to get a little air. I felt my phone vibrate from my pocket so I fish it out of there. I remember Byungchan leaving a lot of voicemails for me which tugged on my heart even more.

I listen to every single one and I cry each time I listen to each of the voicemail he sent me. I take a deep breath before listening to the final one.

“Hey. I know I’ve tried several times now but this will be the last one and I’ll wait until you start talking to me again.” I bite my lip in an attempt to stop myself from crying.

“I actually lied. You did confess your feelings for me. I was afraid you were messing with me just to make me feel better. But after a day of you not talking to me, I felt guilty and really wanted to make it up to you.”

“You probably won’t listen to this anytime soon but, I like you. I was in denial for so long because how could I like my best friend? I told myself not to like you because I had a girlfriend. I told myself not to like you because you might have felt differently.” I run a hand through my hair. Don’t tell me this was really happening right now.

“I knew you liked me when you stopped acting rashly towards me and you seemed more like your species, you know? But what really gave you away was that little notebook you treated like your diary. You left it once with me and I read through everything. I hope I don’t get beat up after you do hear this.”

“So, if you listen to this. Know that it’ll take time for me to adjust with these feelings I have for you. Know that it’ll take time for me to say those three words back. Soon. Wait for me to say those three words.”

I sink down to the floor and hold my knees. Why did everything that happened had to happen? Why now? Of all times, why now?

The thought hurt me, but I had to accept it. The time for him to say ‘I love you’ back?

That time will never come.

**Author's Note:**

> Henlo!! I’m @baessthetics on TWT hehe this was based on a song by Day6 which is called When You Love Someone. (Yes, I’m that creative with titles :<) anyways do leave your feedback that could help me improve with my work!! Thank u hehe.  
> (I SUCK AT CHARACTERS WTH) FJJDJD


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